Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize