i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
