sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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