Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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