Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
