Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
