living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
