Need sex. Gaining weight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They are going to name an STD after you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
