I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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