i barfeds in our rink
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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