Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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