I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
