oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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