You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
