My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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