I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize