HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
