do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
