I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize