he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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