***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
