that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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