he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize