i permit you to call me
You work out of a Hotel?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
