no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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