Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I want a musical about memes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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