It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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