She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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