dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Randomize
