A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
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He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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