After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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