Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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