My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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