My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's the barista slut.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
