bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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