your thong is hanging out like whoa
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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