We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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