all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
