We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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