How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
