Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
