I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
