Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
