Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.

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  (301): Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy. http://tfl.nu/n68s
  Replies (9) Good night (586) Bad night (2104)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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  (617): a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you</3 http://tfl.nu/z6s1
  Replies (32) Good night (1300) Bad night (8461)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
  Replies (150) Good night (14671) Bad night (3375)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?

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  (678): At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2 (908): Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked? http://tfl.nu/yka4
  Replies (14) Good night (5307) Bad night (1917)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.

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  (403): we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now. http://tfl.nu/goi4
  Replies (16) Good night (5739) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

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  (949): I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed.. http://tfl.nu/gr14
  Replies (58) Good night (1268) Bad night (5539)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.

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  (913): The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight. http://tfl.nu/vdus
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (2143)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

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  (503): He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis. http://tfl.nu/tjtk
  Replies (4) Good night (1230) Bad night (1851)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Jail. That could go wrong.

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  (901): Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong? (325): Jail. That could go wrong. http://tfl.nu/f51a
  Replies (5) Good night (2166) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

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  (314): Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won http://tfl.nu/r5as
  Replies (6) Good night (3487) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Delicious

  (646): View more from New York

  I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.

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  (646): There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table. (917): Delicious (646): I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt. http://tfl.nu/gs74
  Replies (5) Good night (1238) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.

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  (360): It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha. http://tfl.nu/9aca
  Replies (3) Good night (1353) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.

  (707): View more from California

  *roof

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  (916): 1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor. (707): *roof http://tfl.nu/ph25
  Replies (6) Good night (1742) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours

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  (337): Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours http://tfl.nu/650i
  Replies (3) Good night (946) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.

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  (718): Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them. http://tfl.nu/ft83
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (252)

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