had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.