i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom