so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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