As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
