to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Randomize
