You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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