you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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