Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
