why didn't you poke me back
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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