My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
