Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize