how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
