The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
