I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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