do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize