Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize