Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
