I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
